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So Ariana Grande walks into a gay bar… Have you heard this one?

This just in: Ariana Grande is a human person who enjoys doing fun human people things like taking in some culture at the local gay watering hole.

While in San Antonio, Texas for her Sweetener Tour, the ‘7 rings’ songstress popped into Heat and the temperature in the room certainly rose a few degrees as the drag queens backstage realized what was happening.

Miss Toni described the feeling to KENS 5 News:

Related: Ariana Grande’s Coachella set had a big gay happy ending

“I was like ‘Oh my God! Oh my God!’ I just said, ‘Bitch, get into it, get into it. Bring out your inner JLo, Madonna, Ariana, Rhianna – everything… So the music starts, it is a mash-up I could hear her little voice. ‘Yas, queen!’ I could hear it. I could hear it.”

Joining Miss Toni on stage was Niyala Milan Matthews, who told the news station (because this is clearly news) she wasn’t even slated to perform that night:

“Tonight was my off night from performing, I had planned to meet friends at a local bar on the north side but one text from a friend changed my entire night. I’ve never made a u-turn so quickly.

“I walked into the club and saw two little space buns poking from the crowd, I knew it was her! I ran backstage and started putting my ponytail on. I had to perform for her!

Related: Super Bowl fans thought they’d found the perfect bar, but was a VERY different sort of ‘Eagle’

“I couldn’t even accept her tip or look her in the eye.”

It was a smart move on Matthews’s part because everyone knows if you make direct eye contact with Ariana Grande you’ll dream in whistle tones for the rest of your life. That’s just science.

We have to assume that Matthews and Miss Tony did eventually accept those tips, though–Grande used $100s instead of $1s.

Believe it or not, the photo at the top of this post has been doctored. It’s not even from the bar Ariana visited, but from Tribe in Nashville. We apologize for any confusion this may have caused.

Dan Tracer is a queer writer, handstand enthusiast, and lover of all Kaytranada remixes. Find him on Instagram.


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